Sunday night the 29th of March I found myself weeping and worshipping before God. Most times in His presence when God wants to speak to me its through an image or vision. While blessing His name I saw a vision of myself on my phone blocking my ex-boyfriend on all my social media accounts and on my phone. I was a bit hesitant at first because I thought well God, “I’m over him, so what’s the point.” I wrestled with God’s command because according to my flesh it really didn’t take all of that. I’ve been broken up with this guy for almost four years and we haven’t spoken or reconciled. He just wanted to follow me on Instagram, so I let him. God began speaking to me some more revealing that by refusing to let go I was giving my ex access to me and my life when he shouldn’t have any. I was also giving the enemy room to meddle in my life by opening the door to an ungodly soul tie when the word clearly says in Ephesians 4:27 English Standard Version,
“ And give no opportunity to the devil”
Finally, I got up, grabbed my phone and attempted to block my ex, but each time I got on Instagram I forgot what I was supposed to do, instead I ended up liking pictures, responding to posts and comments until I put the phone down to sleep. I tried to rest, but God reminded me again. After the third time with a heavy heart I obeyed.
I was finally revoking the access I had given my past so I could step into my future and boy it was scary and freeing at the same time.
I prayed and told God I release this person into your hands and the Holy Spirit rocked me to sleep.
I thought that was the only thing I was letting go of, but the next day I made the decision to cut my hair off. I grew up thinking my identity was in my long hair. I thought without long hair I wasn’t beautiful or good enough. In my family hair is extremely cherished and talked about, but I decided to free myself of the false expectations I put on myself and the ones I carried from others. It was time to let go. My identity is not and has never been in my hair or what others think of me, but it is in Christ Jesus.
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” Psalm 139:14 NIV.
We were never meant to hold on to strongholds from our past, but we’ve been called to embrace the new creations we are in Christ Jesus.
“ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2nd Corinthians 5:17 NIV.
According to Psychology Today, “Letting go means being willing to allow life to carry you to a new place, even a deeper more true rendition of self” However, “Holding on means trying to push life into the place of your making or be damned” ( Andrea Mathews What Does it Mean to Let Go). We can never step into the newness God has planned for us if we are always looking back and allowing our past to seep into our future and yes it may hurt or cost us a few things, but it brings greater joy ahead.
With this extra time we have due to being quarantined God wants to reveal some things we still need to be healed and delivered from and what we need to finally let go of to become who He has called us to be. He wants us to spend more time in His word and learn more of Him so that we see less of us when we look in the mirror and more of Him. I pray we don’t take this time for granted and we truly learn in the stillness God wants to mend every area of our lives if we allow Him to. I also pray for those of us who are afraid of the stillness and want to run back into an old relationship whether platonic or romantic that we make up in our minds we will not return to vomit instead we will look ahead even in the midst of uncertainty.
“As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly” Proverbs 26:11 NIV.
If you need prayer, I’ll be more than happy to stand in the gap.
May God keep you and your family safe. Blessings.